


Not Hard to Fall

by mistresscurvy



Category: Bandom, Mindless Self Indulgence, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Bandom Reverse Big Bang, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-11
Updated: 2012-03-11
Packaged: 2017-11-01 19:28:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/360401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mistresscurvy/pseuds/mistresscurvy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerard really wasn't any good at this. But he was going to do his best. A Projekt Revolution fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Hard to Fall

Gerard couldn't focus.

He had been staring at the drawing he was working on for about five minutes without adding a single line, eyes tracing over the shape of Lindsey's curves, her stance and the way she held her bass. He picked up a different pencil and leaned in, but before he could touch it down onto the page he leaned back again, blowing out breath. 

Gerard twisted around in his chair. "Hey, Frank?"

"Yeah?" Frank said, not looking up from his book. 

Gerard took that as his cue, standing up and walking over to the couch. He plopped down next to Frank and leaned his head up against the back of it. "I don't know what to do."

"About what?"

Gerard rolled his head so that it was on Frank's shoulder. "I'm in love with Lindsey, and I think she loves me back."

"Uh-huh." 

Gerard picked up his head. "What do you mean, 'uh-huh'?"

Frank let his book drop down onto his leg and smirked at Gerard. "You've been drawing her for days, dude. Fuck, you draw her more than Leia. It's kind of obvious."

Gerard nodded. "So you see my problem."

"Nope." Frank lifted the book up. 

"Frank, my last relationship was a disaster."

"Yup," Frank agreed, his lips popping the word.

"So I don't know what I'm doing," Gerard said plaintively. 

Frank shut his book and tossed it onto the floor. Gerard turned towards him, ready for the answer he knew Frank would have. "So fucking tell _her_ that, not me."

That wasn't the pearl of relationship wisdom he was expecting. "Tell her what?"

Frank plopped one hand down on top of Gerard's head. "Tell her that you've been a fuck up in the past and have no idea how to have an adult relationship and that you're probably on the rebound--"

Gerard crossed his arms over his chest. He wasn't sure what he thought about this whole honesty thing. 

"--but that she's fucking worth the risk," Frank finished, voice getting soft. He poked Gerard in the stomach. "That last part is really important. Don't fucking forget it."

Gerard was still missing something. "Why would she still want to be with me after I tell her all of this?"

Frank patted his arm. "Gee, I love you, but you're really not that subtle. I'm pretty sure she already knows you're a weirdo."

"She knows I'm a _weirdo_ , but that's not the same fucking thing as someone who can't fucking handle a relationship," Gerard protested. Weird was fine, a plus to Lindsey, even. But he was thirty fucking years old, and he had been better at this when he was a teenager with a basement to hide in. What the fuck was even _wrong_ with him.

"You're a rock star, you're supposed to be shit at this stuff," Frank answered, leaning down to pick up his book. "She's probably shit at it, too. And Jesus Christ, if you're that worried about it, just let her go. Maybe she's not worth it."

"Fuck you, she's totally worth it," Gerard insisted. It was like Frank hadn't even met her or something. Gerard had known she was _it_ for him since the first night of tour, an eon ago. 

"Okay." Frank held up his hands in mock defeat. "Then fucking talk to her. And promise me that this time you'll actually use condoms."

"I use condoms!" Gerard said in outrage. Well, mostly. "Mostly." He crossed his arms over his chest. "They don't always work, you know."

"Yeah, especially when they're not actually on your _dick._ " Frank broke open his book again, nudging Gerard's arm with his elbow. "Maybe give that a try this time." He cracked up when Gerard shoved back at him, and Gerard fought off a grin. Fucker.

//

The plan was to play tonight's show, have a good long talk with Lindsey, and then either a night of sex in a room with an actual bed or a night of crying on the phone with Mikey, depending on how the conversation went. Gerard was prepared. He was ready.

Or so he thought until he walked off stage and Lindsey all but tackled him, wrapping her arms around his neck and a leg around his hip.

He grabbed her back instinctively, getting one hand on her ass and shoving his other hand into her hair, holding her upright as they kissed. She pressed up against his thigh, her body hot and melting into his. 

"Hotel now," she gasped into his ear after breaking away from his mouth. "You were so fucking hot up there."

He shook his head before he kissed her again, shoving her against the wall and grinding his half-hard dick on her hip. "Been waiting for this all fucking week." It had been eight days since their last hotel night, and he was desperate for it again, to take his time with her. 

"Oh, god." At the sound of Bob's voice, Gerard turned away from Lindsey just enough to see him walking past them, shaking his head. "There is an actual room for you guys to go to, and you're still fucking backstage. What the _fuck._ "

Gerard grinned against Lindsey's hair, hands tightening around her waist. "Sorry, can't help it," he said, bending down to suck a kiss into her neck.

When he looked back up at Bob, he looked pained. " _Try._ "

Gerard didn't actually want his band to hate him, and besides, there _was_ a fucking bed waiting for them. He turned back to Lindsey, pressing his hips against hers without meaning to. "Meet you there in half an hour?"

"Make it fifteen." She pulled him even closer for another kiss before pushing him away. He stumbled back, hand drifting up and touching over his lips as he looked at her. Her red lipstick was smeared and messy, and he knew his lips must be covered in it. She was like a fucking wet dream, her short skirts and pigtails combined with a full sleeve of tattoos and a playful mouth. 

He'd spent the last six years of his life putting himself out there for people to see, and he'd never had anyone look at him the way she did.

It wasn't until he was in the bus on the way to the hotel that he remembered his plan. He tried and failed to ignore the pit in his stomach at the idea. Talking first. Right. Gerard took a deep breath, like he was preparing himself to go on stage. He could do this. 

This seemed perfectly reasonable until he opened the door to their hotel room to find Lindsey already sprawled out on the bed, completely naked. His nerves disappeared, replaced in an instant with desire hitting him right in the gut at the sight of her on display like this for him. He felt paralyzed by all of her skin, the bright splashes of color down her arm, the dark red of her lipstick, the bruises covering her knees and thighs. His gaze got caught on the movement of her hand between her legs and the way her breasts moved as she panted. "You're _late._ " 

"Holy shit." He let his bag fall from his shoulder onto the ground, toeing off his sneakers as he worked open his belt and then pants. Getting out of his shirt was unexpectedly tricky, his limbs not wanting to fully cooperate, but finally he had wrangled it off his body and stomped out of his jeans. He pushed down his briefs, hands immediately cupping and stroking his already hard cock. He couldn't stop looking at her, the lines and curves of her body, the soft tuft of dark hair he could see through her fingers as she touched herself.

"Get the fuck over here," she commanded even as he stumbled over towards her and knelt up on the bed. 

He leaned over to kiss her deeply, covering her body with his and sweeping his hands up to grab her tits. Her legs spread beneath him, his cock sliding against her hip, and he lost himself in the feeling of her skin against his own, the way her hands already knew just how to touch him, stroking up over his sides and brushing against his neck. He thrust down, dick already leaking and slippery on her skin, and he made himself pull back a little. 

He wanted to just slide right into her and feel that slick heat around his cock, take the fucking risk. But he'd had enough of Frank looking at him like he was a moron, and besides, he wasn't going to fuck this up with Lindsey over something so stupid. So, "Condom?" he mumbled against her mouth, and she reached out with one hand to the bedside table, snagging a packet and pressing it into his hand. He sighed and kissed her again, tongue slipping in to taste her once more before he pulled away enough to get the condom open. Lindsey's hands tangled with his on it, grabbing it from him and sliding it onto him, hands sure and confident. He gasped when she stroked down the shaft before twisting up over the head. "Fucking hell." He didn't know how she even made getting a condom on hot, but he moaned when she finally pulled her hands away, missing her touch instantly. 

She fell back against the pillows, face flushed as she drew her legs up, hands hooking under her knees. "Come on, Gee," she pleaded, catching her lower lip between her teeth.

He shook his head, dragging his hand down her belly until his thumb found her clit, his fingers moving further down her cunt to the wet folds below. Teasing at first, he finally slipped inside her, fingers pressing in as he rubbed her clit faster, touch light and flickering. She didn't like too much pressure on her clit, she'd told him the first time they had fucked, showing him with her own hand how to do it. Gerard had almost come just from the sight of her fingers wet and sticky stroking lightly over her cunt. 

And now she pressed up against his fingers inside of her, her pussy squeezing them as he stroked in and out, thumb still moving softly against her clit. He watched her face, the way she bit her lip and tilted her head back when he pressed further inside, her mouth opening in a silent gasp. She let go of her legs, letting them fall open on the bed and bringing her hands up to grip his upper arms hard as he fingered her. "Fuck, fuck, _fuck,_ right there, oh god." Gerard kept his hands steady on her, his cock hard as a rock at how wet she felt inside, the way he could feel her move against him, pulling his fingers inside her. 

Her back arched up when she came, soaking his fingers, his thumb slipping against her as he brought her off. He leaned over to kiss her, capturing her moans in his mouth as she rode it out and pressed her hips up into his hands, not done yet. She bit down hard on his lower lip and he gasped, dick getting even harder as he let her do whatever she wanted until finally she melted back against the bed, her breasts sliding against his chest as she panted. 

"So fucking hot, oh my god," he said, kissing her again as he slowly let his fingers slip out. He gripped his cock hard, pressing the head of his cock against her pussy, teasing himself by rubbing it on the swollen heat of her body. She felt so fucking warm and soft even through the thin latex between them, and when he glanced up at her face he gasped at how beautiful she was, her cheeks flushed and eyes dark with need. 

He wanted to fuck her through the mattress.

Lindsey raised her legs up around his waist, pulling him down, and he let himself sink inside, resting his forehead against her cheek as he moaned at how tight she was, so hot and smooth. He wrapped his arms up behind her back, fingers curling around her shoulders, and he thrust inside, his belly already slick and sticky from her cunt. 

He fucked into her, trying to hold himself back a little, when he remembered, oh right, fuck, there was supposed to be _talking_ first. "Oh god," he said, voice desperate and a little tense even to his own ears. 

"What?" she gasped, eyes focused on his. Her hands were tight in his hair, her legs locked around his waist, and he suddenly hated his complete lack of a poker face. 

"I just, it's nothing," he lied, trying to put it off just a little longer, her body the best kind of distraction.

But she would have none of it. "Tell me," she said, her voice almost playful, and when he fucked in harder her breath caught, head tipping back.

He groaned and dropped his head down onto her collarbone. "I'm such a fuck up, Lindsey, you don't even know."

"Okay," she breathed, tilting her hips up more, and suddenly the slide was even better and Gerard almost lost his mind at how good she felt, but he needed to make her understand. 

"No, but seriously," he gasped, slowing down his hips as he tried to speak and fuck at the same time, which was harder than he'd expected. Smoking, man. "Like, I fucked a groupie, okay? And then I felt really bad about it, so I just...kept fucking her," he panted, hiding his face against her neck. "Until she told me she was pregnant and then I proposed because holy shit, I knocked up a fucking _groupie,_ what the fuck is wrong with me? And then it turned out it wasn't even _real._ " He had stopped moving mid-way through his rush of words, relief and terror warring within him, and he belatedly realized that maybe it would have been better to say this while he was still wearing clothes. Or wasn't currently inside her. 

Too late now.

Lindsey wasn't pushing him away, though. Her hands were still stroking up and down his back, legs tight around him, and his hips twitched forward again, his dick not getting the message that this was a serious conversation. "Okay. So maybe in the future, when you make a mistake, stop doing it over and over again and just fucking deal," she breathed into his ear.

"That was what Mikey said," Gerard muttered, lifting his head up a bit, but she wasn't done. She covered his mouth firmly with her hand.

"So you fucked a groupie. I've done shitty stuff too, you know," she said, and then squeezed around him, _hard,_ and he thrust forward without even meaning to. He moaned against her hand, kissing her fingers as she dragged them across his lips before gripping his hair tight. That shit wasn't fair. 

"Oh come on, you haven't fucked up like that," Gerard said in a desperate attempt to stay focused and not just slam into her. He couldn't help grinding against her a little though, feeling huge inside her, a sliver of hope coursing through his body.

"I once made Jimmy break up with my boyfriend over the phone. He was sending me flowers every other day while we were touring," Lindsey said, her nails raking down Gerard's back. 

Gerard groaned and shoved his dick in her harder, feeling her clench around him. "Fuck, flowers take up so much fucking space on a bus."

"Right?" Lindsey snaked one hand down between their bodies, fingers brushing against Gerard's lower belly as she pressed against her clit. "What was he thinking?"

"I think I'm a better boyfriend when I'm a time zone or seven away," Gerard got out quickly before gripping her hair with both hands and kissing her again, lips and tongue sloppy and urgent. 

Lindsey made a small sound into his mouth, legs clenching higher around Gerard's waist as she moved her hips into his thrusts. She broke away and bit down under his jaw hard, the pain spiking through his body. "I like you better when you're right here," she whispered, sounding almost shy.

"Oh fuck, me too, baby," he gasped, and he got his hands under her back and rolled them over like a fucking ninja until she was above him, still surrounding him. He stared up at her, dark hair framing her face, eyes wide and cheeks flushed. Her hands braced against his chest, arms pushing her tits together, and he reached up and brushed his fingers over them, sweeping down to tug on her nipples. 

She gasped at that, body tightening around Gerard as she pressed into his hands. "The only things I'm good at are performing and making shit with my hands. I haven't felt like this since I was seventeen," she confessed breathlessly, moving slowly on Gerard's cock, hips rocking up and down. 

"I've never felt like this before," Gerard said desperately. "I've watched every video of you I could find on youtube. Frank said I'm like a teenage girl." He couldn't stop talking now that he'd started, wanting to tell her all his secrets, the ones he'd forgotten he even had. He moved his hands down to grip her hips and thrust up a little, his head arching back at the easy slide of his cock inside her, her cunt pulling him in.

Lindsey moaned and moved with him, her body rocking above him, skin sweaty and smooth against his fingers. "Before this summer I didn't even like My Chem," she said, biting her lip as she looked down at him.

Gerard stopped thrusting and stared up at her. He felt like someone just punched him in the face. "What?"

Lindsey gasped out a laugh and slapped his chest lightly before leaning over and kissing him. "Of course I love your band," she said against his lips, her hips grinding on his cock. "How could I not. It's you, baby, it's all of you."

He groaned into her mouth and grabbed her ass hard, unable to control himself as he thrust up into her, his body shaking with desire and love and relief, sharp and bright. He felt his orgasm building in his belly, and he tried to hold off, tried to bring himself back from the edge, but he couldn't, her body so tight and wet around him. When he came his entire body shuddered, his hands gripping her hips so hard he knew there would be bruises there to match the ones she was sucking into his neck. 

Gerard wrapped his arms around her and held her tight, his desperate gulps for air turning into laughter with a slight tinge of hysteria on the edges. "I love you so much I don't even care how much I don't deserve you."

She laughed against his shoulder, her back slippery with sweat as she moved against him. "Ditto, motherfucker."

//

When Gerard stopped by Frank and Jamia's bus thirty-six hours later, Frank took one look at him and smiled. "Everything cool?"

Gerard nodded. "She loves our band, Frank," he said, voice giddy with it, and when Frank pulled him in for a hug, he knew he understood. 

//

Gerard fucking loved the way Lindsey tasted after a show.

He'd loved it for weeks now, ever since the first night when she spread her legs and pushed his head down, his disbelief that she actually wanted him disappearing the moment he got to taste her, his focus on her so complete he forgot to feel insecure. But when she got off stage, her body was already warm and sweaty, thighs rubbing together and panties damp from her cunt. He could smell her from three feet away, her scent sharp and distinctive, and he needed to get his face in there, to lick it up and make her come all over his mouth. She looked and smelled and tasted like _sex._

If he thought they could get away with it, he would love to just push her into a dark corner after a show and drop to his knees, pulling down her fishnets and boy shorts just enough to get his mouth on her cunt, head half-hidden by her skirt. But while he didn't give a shit about people knowing that he wanted her this much, he also didn't really want a snapshot of that making the rounds. So he made himself just pull her in close for a quick kiss or three before tugging her by the hand towards his bus. 

Once they got inside it was impossible to keep his hands off her, fingers sneaking up under her vest to the soft skin of her belly. Usually during a tour the bus would never be empty, at least one of the guys hanging out inside, but while Gerard could restrain himself most of the time while they were in public, his impulse control only went so far, and the rest of the guys had learned to get the fuck out of there fast when they stumbled inside, hands busy on each other. He would feel bad if he had any focus left for anything other than getting his mouth on her again. 

They stumbled back towards the bunks together, his hands up under her skirt on her ass and her hands tugging him closer by the collar of his shirt. He loved the pattern of the fishnets against his fingertips, the way he could feel the squares of her bare skin pushing out between the nylon. He wanted to grab, but he satisfied himself with hastily pulling the curtain shut as they make their way to the bunks before pressing her down onto his bottom bunk and kneeling in front of her, hands sliding up her thighs. 

She grinned down at him, hair messy around her face, and he knelt up to kiss her first, mouth hot and wet under his. He dragged his mouth across her cheek before sucking her earlobe into his mouth, his fingers digging in around her upper thighs. She gasped quietly in his ear at the pressure, and he looked down to see where his fingers were pressing into the bruises dotting her skin. He wasn't responsible for all of them--most of the big ones were the result of hitting monitors and dropping to her knees on stage--but he could remember how he had made some of them. 

He bent down and kissed over one of the bruises, the stocking rough against his tongue, and he pushed up her skirt with his hands until it was up around her waist, hands clumsy and shaking with want. She leaned back against the wall, panting, and lifted her leg up to unzip one of her boots, tossing it across the aisle once she was free of it. When Gerard curled his fingers around the waist of her panties and stockings, she lifted her hips to help him pull them down, getting one leg completely free, leaving the other side dangling at her knee. 

Gerard breathed in her scent, strong and hot already, drawing him in as he kissed his way up her inner thighs and shoved her bare leg out. She smelled so good, sharp and like the very essence of her had been distilled down to this. It took just the barest hint of it to make him hard, no matter where they were, and right now he was _there,_ at the very heart of it. He was so turned on his hands were shaking against her thighs.

"Gerard, come on," she breathed above him, her hand sinking into his hair, and he kissed her thigh once more before he spread her open with his fingers and took his first taste. 

She was so soft and wet against his tongue, her hips thrusting forward, trying to get more, but he didn't want to be rushed. He wanted to make a study of her cunt, know everything about it, how she would respond to every type of touch and pressure. He dipped his tongue inside her, working in deep before sweeping up over her clit and sucking a little. She moaned above him and gripped his hair tight, and he eased off a bit, flicking over the hard nub with the tip of his tongue, teasing. 

His face was already sticky and wet, and he pressed in closer, moaning when she dropped her thigh down over his shoulder, surrounding him with her body even more. He felt like he could get lost in there, never getting enough of her taste, of the hitch in her breath every time he used the flat of his tongue over her clit, stroking light and steady. Her scent surrounded him, filling his entire awareness with her, and he shuffled even closer, his entire mouth pressed up against her cunt. Her hips were snapping faster, movements erratic against Gerard's face, and he moved with her as she got closer, keeping the pressure right there.

"Oh, oh _fuck,_ Gerard, come on, come _on,_ " she gasped, and he moaned and pressed a hand against his dick as he kept his mouth steady on her. Her thighs tightened around his head when she came, his tongue flooded with her taste, and he dipped below to clean her up before moving back up to suck on her clit again. He wasn't done yet, wasn't ready to give this up, and luckily she didn't make him, gasping out a little laugh before letting her legs fall open and giving him all the freedom he could want to explore. 

When she finally pulled his face out of her cunt after coming twice more (or possibly three times, Gerard wasn't sure), he rested his head on her thigh, panting as he fumbled open his jeans, hands sticky with her. He got his cock out and started stroking himself, too close to wait for anything else. He shut his eyes, groaning when she scratched her fingers through his hair and rubbed over his face, his tense jaw. His tongue fucking ached from how long he'd been down there, his whole mouth tired and sore, but he fucking loved it. 

"God, you just taste so fucking good," he moaned, biting down on her inner thigh and sucking hard, the sweat delicious in his mouth as he shuddered and came on the floor of the bus, hand still flying over his cock. He shook against her thigh, grunting as her hands twisted in his hair and pulled, the pain spiking through his body like a counterpoint to his orgasm. Panting, he slumped back onto his ass and gazed up at Lindsey, her skirt still flipped up over her belly, her cunt wet and open. 

He wanted to be hard again so that he could fuck her, sink right inside, and his intent must have shown on his face because she laughed. "If you don't get down there now, Brian's going to fucking kill us both." 

Gerard shook his head. "I'm the lead singer, he can't do shit."

She snorted and sat up, reaching down to grab her fishnets and panties, threading her foot back into them and tugging them up her legs. "Come on, rock star. Time to show your fans a good time."

"I'll show you a good time," he said, his brain stupid and goofy and so in love he could hardly stand it. She smiled back at him, leaning in for a quick kiss before she stood up over him and tugged her tights all the way up. 

"Fuck yeah you will. But after," she said, gazing down at him. Lindsey dragged a finger down his face, his skin still slightly tacky with her. "Now come on."

It took a lucky snag of a spare golf cart to get him there, but he made it backstage with just enough time to change and make it for show call. When Ray cleared his throat meaningfully and tapped his fingers on the invisible watch on his wrist, Gerard grinned and mouthed _sorry._.

He was pretty sure Ray didn't buy it.

The show was great, electric even, but all Gerard could focus on for the entire set was Lindsey's scent, the way her flavor filled his mouth whenever he licked his lips. It made him prance around even more, showing off his moves for a crowd that was half their kids eating it up and half dickheads yelling 'faggots!' at them. Gerard was caught a little off-guard when Frank came up behind him mid-verse and grabbed his head to lick over his cheek and nose, but he rolled with it, sucking off his mic a song later and grinning down at the fuckfaces who judged them.

When they got off stage his first thought was to find Lindsey again, to actually hear about her day this time before losing himself in her body, but suddenly he was being yanked backstage by Frank.

"Hey, whoa, slow down, dude," Gerard said, trotting to keep up, but Frank ignored him, pulling him along until they were over where Jamia was sitting with Mama.

"Sit," Frank said, pointing at a chair and plopping down on a chair across from him. Gerard sat obediently; apparently Frank really needed to talk to him about something, and while Gerard knew that he'd been kind of distracted this tour, he could still be a good listener when he tried. He folded his hands in his lap and watched as Frank kissed Jamia before she walked away. Frank leaned down to pet Mama for a moment and then picked her up. 

"You realize she's not actually a cat, right? And also she's a bit big to be a lap dog at this point," Gerard said.

"I'm only going to say this once," Frank said. Gerard was ready for Frank to tell him off for calling his dog fat, but apparently that wasn't what this was about. "If you're going to eat your girlfriend's pussy before a show, you've gotta take a shower after, man. Or at least wash your face off."

Gerard blinked at Frank. "Why?"

Frank rolled his eyes, hand still scratching Mama's head. "Because when I lick your face I don't want to taste Lindsey, okay?"

"It's not like I knew you would attack me with your tongue, though," Gerard said reasonably. "You could have just gone for my ass this time. Maybe you needed to warn _me._ " He probably should have stopped Frank when he did lick him, but what was he supposed to do? Push him away? It would have killed the moment. 

"What, because all the douchebag assholes are just gonna disappear?" Frank asked. "We're making a point, remember?"

Gerard did remember, and he started to get excited again. "Yeah, and like, that's the thing, man. They think they _know,_ they think we're fags and that there's something wrong with that, and in reality I've just spent like three hours knee deep in pussy!" He beamed at Frank. "I fucking love the irony."

"Yeah, I know, Gee," Frank said. He voice sounded a little strained. "But I am fine with knowing where your face just was without _knowing._." He smirked suddenly before gesturing broadly at his mouth. "With my _tongue._ "

Gerard waved a hand at him. "Okay, fine, I'll try to wash my face off. Or I'll tell you if I don't," he amended when Frank looked skeptical. "You can just hump my head those nights or something." When Frank didn't say anything immediately he couldn't help saying, "She just tastes so fucking good though, I don't want to wash her off--"

Frank held up a hand. "I don't want to know, okay? I already know too much," he said darkly. "And the answer is no, by the way."

"I didn't even say anything!" Frank didn't respond, and after a full minute of silence Gerard was compelled to add, "It would be a _metaphor--_ "

"No." Frank finally looked up from Mama. "There will never be a My Chem song about eating pussy, Gerard."

"A _great_ song about pussy, though," Gerard said earnestly. He frowned. "I wouldn't write a bad song about it, come on."

"I'm pretty sure if you write a song about your girlfriend's pussy, you're an asshole," Frank said. "No matter how complimentary it is. Or how many metaphors it's hidden in. I will veto any lyrics involving flower imagery or musky scents or secret depths."

Gerard laughed. "It'd be pretty badass to sing about a many layered onion though." He held up his hands in defeat when Frank shook his head again. "Fine. Not like anyone can figure out what our songs are really about anyway."

Frank's smile was wry. "Somehow I have a feeling they'd crack this one." He gently shoved Mama onto the ground before standing up and walking over to Gerard. "Keep her pussy just for you, okay?"

"Okay," Gerard agreed. He cleared his throat, suddenly feeling shy. "I kind of want to."

Frank patted him on the shoulder. "Yeah, I know. So don't be an asshole."

Gerard nodded. He could try.

//

When the tour finally stopped in Jersey, it was like releasing a sigh they'd all been holding for a little too long. Gerard had spent more time away from Jersey than in it over the past five years, but there was still a loosening of tension that always hit him anytime they crossed over from New York or Pennsylvania or fucking Delaware.

This time it felt even more pronounced, because he was going to see Mikey soon. It had been a long time since something as major as Lindsey had happened to Gerard without Mikey around to see it firsthand, to support Gerard (or to tell him in his non-judgmental, loving sort of way that Gerard was being an idiot). He wasn't worried that Mikey wouldn't get it, not really, but he didn't like having to explain something as fundamental as what Lindsey had suddenly become for him. 

Apparently, text messages and what Gerard had thought were restrained phone conversations were enough to show Mikey everything he needed to know, and possibly more than Gerard had even intended. "So when's the wedding?"

Gerard blinked at Mikey from next to him on the couch in the lounge, knee pressing against Mikey's. "I never said anything about getting married."

Mikey didn't roll his eyes, but it was close. "Yeah, but when is it?"

Gerard bit his lip. "You don't think it's too fast? I mean, you barely even know her."

Mikey shrugged. "She's pretty great, Gee. We've been texting for the past month--"

"You have?" Gerard interrupted. Apparently his girlfriend was as much of a ninja as his brother. 

"--and I like her." Mikey looked at him quietly, his face more relaxed than Gerard had seen it in months. Mikey had spent the last year holding himself together, putting on a good show, but now he just looked like himself again. He'd missed that. 

Gerard fidgeted with his hands. "You don't think I'm being stupid?"

Mikey put his arm around him and gave him a little shake. "Nope. And you know I'd tell you."

"You did the last time," Gerard agreed. He knocked his head against Mikey's. "Thanks." They were quiet for a moment, both staring at the wall of the bus, the couch molded around their bodies like it had missed Mikey, too. "How are things going?"

Mikey was quiet for long enough that Gerard regretted asking at all, afraid that the answer would be something about a separation from the band more permanent than Gerard could handle even thinking about. "Better. A lot better. It's been really good to just be at home with Alicia and not have to think about anything else." He managed to somehow squeeze closer. "But I think I'm ready to come back."

Gerard didn't know how the fuck his life had suddenly gotten so great, but he really wasn't going to question it. 

//

When Gerard saw the t-shirt stand at the carnival on the second to last day of the tour, he knew instantly what they needed to do. 

He tugged Lindsey over to it, hands laced together as they looked over the various designs before they saw the right one together. Gerard pulled out a piece of paper and one of his pens from his jacket, writing down their names carefully and making sure the guy had the right sizes. 

They sat up against the side of the booth while they waited, heads dipped together as Lindsey played with his hands, fingers casual and possessive on his skin. And when the artist called out, "Gerard?" his heart started pounding, mouth going dry. He scrambled to his feet, pulling her up by her hands, and they took a look at what had been created for them. 

He looked over the smaller shirt first, hands ghosting over the giant 'G' for a moment before he picked it up.  
Gerard felt like his heart was trying to beat out of his chest as he handed Lindsey her engagement t-shirt.

"So I called ahead, and Colorado issues same day marriage licenses," he said, voice croaky. He squeezed his hands together to make them stop shaking. "Because I don't want this tour to end."

She held it up against her chest, looking down and studying it for a moment. When she looked up again, her smile was huge, eyes shining as she snagged the shirt with her name scrawled across it and handed it to him. "Did you know Amy's an ordained minister?" she asked, her excitement bleeding through each word. 

Gerard stared at her, blood loud in his ears. "Like a real one?"

Lindsey waved a hand in the air. "Real enough." She bit her lip. "Tomorrow night work for you?"

The entire world seemed to zero in on this moment, everything around him quiet as his life changed forever. He felt laughter threatening to bubble up out of him, but he managed to keep it in, for the moment. "I've got something at 7:40, but I should be free by about 9:05," he said, in a last-ditch attempt at being cool. 

It didn't work. But he still got the girl.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [Bandom Reverse Big Bang](http://bandomreversebb.livejournal.com/) challenge. I was inspired to choose [the mix](http://erraticonstilts.livejournal.com/173825.html) created by erraticonstilts because of its themes about love, about the initial obsession when you first fall in love, and then the courage it takes to confront your past and open your heart. This story, to me, is about feeling the fear and then doing it anyway--being willing to take that chance. Title is from the last song on the mix, Cannonball by Damien Rice.
> 
> Thank you so much to erraticonstilts for creating such a wonderful mix to be inspired by, littlemousling for being a fabulous first reader and cheerleader for months, and mrsronweasley and brooklinegirl for tearing apart my first draft and making this story far, far better than it would otherwise be. You are all wonderful. ♥


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